Some Old-Fashioned Practices Need to Come Back

I grew up in a really big family. My Grandmother had ten children. All but one of her children had children leading to more than four dozen grandchildren. Then the great grandchildren started to appear. Family was a big part of my life. We all knew each other’s business – who was sick, who was doing well or not in school, who was unemployed, which ones, shall we say, were not quite living up to their potential. When we had a picnic, we started with a head count of 60. In addition to the family, dates and friends and co-workers might be invited. There was no permission required to bring someone to the party. People just showed up.

The circle around our family was even bigger. Faith was a big part of my family. Nothing was planned for Sunday morning until we went to church. There were at least four times you could go to mass, but going early was always encouraged. Faith added more people to the list of people, to include those you sat next to or walked with to church. Those folks played a role in the stories and the support available when any little or big event took place. No worries if you needed refreshments after a funeral, a few of the ladies on the block would add to the family’s reach, relieving some people to tend to other details.

The circle was bigger because we belonged to other groups, like little league, boy scouts, bowling league etc. Some of these groups overlapped and some did not. In the end we somehow kept track of these people. Part of that was the pictures of the groups which appeared as part of the rituals of those groups. I can still recall the photo of the local bowling league, everyone in uniform.

When I think about life today, the happiest people I know are the ones who are connected like my big family. Their families are nowhere near as large as mine was. My mom has only a dozen grandchildren. Happy people seem to have a network of connections, it’s not about the number of people you know but the regular, predictable contact.

None of these happy people are without problems, loss, illness, trouble at work, or broken pipes in their home. What they have is support. They can expect and receive at no charge a hand to help, an ear to listen. They have someone to support. They can keep their troubles in perspective. In reality, most of their problems will pass, and others they can count on us to love them through it.

Making connections helps us sustain empathy for the world around us and challenges us to not jump to conclusions or not rule out possibilities. I am so grateful that I learned to make connections. If that is not part of your world now, read more about it. Consider how you might benefit yourself and others by getting connected.